An independent professional in my network recommended I watch a talk by Mike Monteiro called “F*ck You, Pay Me” when I asked for advice on contracts and client relations. Whether you’re freelancing, consulting, part-time, or full-time, the advice given applies to any contract you sign related to your professional skills. Below is a summary of the video and I’ll also cover how this can apply to a full-time position.
I interviewed for a job and got an offer. I only learned the terms of the offer a week into the job. Maybe “job” is a strong word since I also wasn’t getting paid.
A recruiter and I start talking and decide I’ll interview for a position. The phone screen goes well. The in person interview goes well. The recruiter tells me they are putting together an offer and I dedicate the rest of my mental energy trying to decide whether I want the job or not.
The recruiter is part of one of those third party recruiting companies. Normally this would be a “bad recruiter” but this time we became sort of friends. The fact that neither of us worked for the company trying to hire me was actually a bond rather than a divide after this mess.
The day I interviewed was the 26th of a random month in the year, say December. On the 3rd of the following month, January, I was leaving the country for a 2 week long trip.
Make Me An Offer
On the 28th, two days after my interview, I was called up by the third-party recruiter to tell me they loved me and wanted to extend an offer (her words, not mine). They appeared willing to meet all of my unorthodox demands, like part time hours and flexible vacation. All I needed was the HR department to extend the official offer.
Both parties were aware of my upcoming vacation and assured me the offer would come in on the 1st of January, 3 days before my departure. Just one thing: I needed to apply to the position officially through their Workday site. Workday, like every other HR related software solution, is no fun to use. Whatever, I can jump through hoops, I thought. Even hoops where I’m given a random string of numbers as my user name. Thanks Workday.
According to the company HR contact, my application via Workday would cause a cascade of recruitment dominoes, triggering NDAs, pay set up, offer details, and various other employment necessities. With my application done, I narrowed down my list of things to negotiate depending on the offer details and waited.
Your Offer Got Lost In The Intranet
As the days passed and my suitcase was getting packed for my trip, I suspected I should have my offer but didn’t. I emailed the third-party recruiter for an update. You might wonder why I was still talking to the recruiter. Why wasn’t I talking directly to the HR contact? The answer is simple: I was never put in touch with the HR department. My only conduit to the Borg was via this recruiter. Luckily, we enjoyed working together and continued to bond over how dysfunctional the company was.
Back on track: the recruiter responded in less than 5 min with minimal punctuation that this was not okay and I should have had my offer days ago. At least I knew they didn’t secretly change their mind and ghost me. This triggered an investigation on the HR side to figure out where my offer was and why I didn’t have it.
A Canary Can’t Fail If There Are No Canaries
Background: a “canary” is a software term to describe a simple test or check to show something is working, at least basically. It comes from the phrase “canary in a coal mine.”
As I was on my cross-continental flights to a tropical paradise, the recruiting and offer debacle was beginning to unravel. The first hitch: most of the HR department was out of the office on a retreat or conference out of town so they weren’t as available to respond to candidates requesting their offers or third party recruiters trying to figure out where the offers were. The second hitch: the IT department decided the best time to migrate to a brand new HR system (i.e. Workday) is the week that the HR department is out of the office and not around to detect errors.
The message routed to me via the recruiter: “We just migrated to Workday and something went wrong so we aren’t sure where your offer is.” I requested they send a PDF version so I could at least review legal terminology, employment restrictions, and negotiate sooner rather than later. This seemed reasonable to me and my recruiter friend so we waited with the expectation that this offer would come along in an hour or two.
Do You Really Need An Offer?
By this point I’d already decided my trip was more important than the offer and proceeded enjoy the tropics. Every once in a while I’d ping the recruiter for an update on the offer that hadn’t come in and she’d say she didn’t know what the hold up was. This went on for a few days, bringing us to the 8th of January, a week after I was supposed to have my offer.
The HR contact, now in a long and confusing email thread with me and my recruiter, sent me my “offer”: a number describing my pay along with a annual bonus tier. I mean, I guess that’s a offer, in a sense. However, a job is more than pay. What about moonlighting policies? At will employment? Vacation? Health benefits? Anything? At this point I still had my wish list of negotiation points but nothing to negotiate against.
My recruiter and I chatted over a call when I had reliable Wi-Fi and agreed this wasn’t much of an offer in terms of details. There wasn’t even anything to sign, no legal agreement laid out. I discussed with her my negotiation criteria and she said she’d make it happen. She thanked me for my patience, responsiveness, and lack of complaint while the company was unresponsive, off track, and generally a mess.
I Could Be A Murderer
During the last days of my vacation, around the 18th of January, we agreed that I would start on the 30th of January. This seemed fine. I spent some time in limbo until the 25th when I realized I hadn’t been asked to do a background check. Who in the world is going to ask for a background check? People who are paranoid and want to make sure they aren’t immediately ejected from a new job because of an HR mix up.
I gently reminded HR that my start date was less than a week away and was there a criminal background check I needed to fill out? Response: Well, shit, you mean you didn’t get it already? I guess we have to manually trigger that Workday workflow and since none of us know how Workday works, it will take a few days.
Background checks can take up to two weeks and this was 5 days before my start date. I mean, I don’t mind if you don’t do a background check. I also don’t mind if you push my start date back. Could you just get your shit together?
Am I In The Right Place?
After the vacation ended, a sort of verbal agreement fell into place about my offer. I had given my start date and it seemed to be on track. Except for one thing: why hadn’t I signed an employment agreement? I’m not saying I like signing things but every other employer had one that outlined all the ways I could be fired immediately. Or sued. Or burned at the stake. It seemed important.
Right up until the day before I started, we still hadn’t figure out whether I needed to sign something or not. The HR department claimed I had accepted my offer in “the system” and I maintained that I had never signed a thing, though I’d be happy to do so once something came my way. As it turns out, the system had a few more problems.
When I started, they expected me the week after. That just meant that I had to fill out real paperwork for proof of eligibility of employment instead of the digital versions I was supposed to have gotten a week before I started. No big deal.
Oh, and you won’t be able to access any of your benefits. Hold on: I haven’t signed an offer, I’m not technically active in your system, and I have no benefits. Is this volunteer work or employment?
It’s just the new system, don’t worry about it.
My second day of work, the HR department set up a meeting with me and my manager to discuss my strange obsession with the lack of employment agreement. I told them I develop software outside of work and wanted a guarantee that there would be no legal intellectual property infringement or that my software wouldn’t default to their ownership. The answer: “We have no such restrictions here and never have. Even if we did have them, we wouldn’t pursue them.”
Uh-huh. I didn’t believe it but couldn’t do anything about it. Well, on the plus side, I still hadn’t technically signed anything so I’m fine. Right?
Welcome to Company X
I’d decided to let go of this “signing a contract” business and move on. Until my second week. Workday blasted me with an email storm about all this legal bullshit I needed to sign. You are restricted in the software you develop outside of work. You will be immediately terminated on violation of the following work policies. You must fill out proof of employment. You can’t drink at work. All those signature requests finally came in, a week after I started.
I was pissed off. What kind of HR department doesn’t know the legal bindings of an employment at their company? And directly contradicts them? All I could do was send a passive aggressive email to HR and my manager explaining to them how there were legal documents I needed to sign and I likely didn’t see them because of the incompetence of HR and the poorly timed migration to Workday. Boo.
Finally, all this offer, recruitment, and legal agreement stuff is put aside and I got down to work. One, then two, then three weeks went by and I was getting the hang of things. Everything seemed fine. Until I got a few credit card bills and went to check my bank account where I had set up direct deposit pay. No money. Okay, maybe I hadn’t been here for a full pay period yet.
I checked the pay schedule on the HR site, which was a rabbit hole adventure through SharePoint, Workday, ServiceNow, and custom internal sites. It looked like I was due pay for 2 pay periods, almost 3. Huh. Well, it looks like I’m not getting paid.
I sent a message to the HR department through their online ticketing system and got this response back: “Your paycheck will be in the store.”
Background: This job was in the technology department of a retail company with several physical stores. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I don’t work in a store. Either way, this begged the question: if I don’t work in a store, where is my paycheck?
What about the mail room? Surely, if they said “store” maybe it just meant “employee location”. I went up and down the building floors in search of something that looked like a mail room. I found something like it near the IT department but I don’t think they even knew of me in the system. At this point, that’s not surprising.
Finally, with a week gone by of me searching for my paychecks, I went to my manager.
Manager: Are you okay if we cancel today’s 1:1?
Me: Sure, there was just one thing I wanted to ask you about though.
Me: I’m not getting paid…
Manager: What!? We are getting to the bottom of this right now!
*Walk to the team Admin*
Manager: Hi Admin, we have a bit of a problem *looks at me*
Me: I’m not getting paid.
Admin: Oh my God! That’s awful!
Manager: Do you know anything about that?
Admin: I don’t really handle pay or anything. You’d have to talk to HR *turns to neighbor* Have you heard anything like this?
Neighbor: What is the problem?
Me: I’m not getting paid… I mean, I set up direct deposit over a month ago and I haven’t received anything.
Neighbor: Oh… you know, when I joined a year ago they sent my first few checks to the reception desk. Nobody told me about it and it took a while to find where they went. It might be worth checking there.
Manager and Admin: What? Why would they do that and not tell anyone?
Me: Well, I’ll go check and if not, we can escalate to HR.
In retrospect, this whole interaction was a little funny. How many times had I said “I’m not getting paid?” and it seemed like my coworkers were genuinely concerned about this problem. I went to the reception desk on another nondescript floor of my office building and asked if they had any mail for me. Voilà: there were all my employment checks, ready to be dropped into my bank account and swiftly redirected to pay my credit card bills.
By the end of all this, I was finally getting paid, I knew the legal parameters to my employment, and I had a firm distrust of HR and related software systems.
What I Learned?
- There is always a legal contract to sign that should be presented before employment no matter what HR and related systems tells you
- Always check your first pay period and verify you get your pay instead of waiting and draining your savings to cover bills your pay should have been covering
- Dealing with incompetence creates a bond through struggle, even with a recruiter
This post will be about how I’ve used LinkedIn in my career and how recruiters on LinkedIn or otherwise can be used as a tool as well.
What Is LinkedIn?
If you are a working professional, you’ve probably heard of LinkedIn. At least for the English speaking, North American job markets. Like other professional job searching sites like Glassdoor, Hired, and Indeed, LinkedIn allows you to upload a resume and makes it searchable by companies and recruiters. Similarly, you can search and apply for jobs. It’s different for its social networking. I think of it as “Facebook for work “. It’s a lot less awkward to share your LinkedIn details than your Facebook profile. LinkedIn is a Microsoft acquisition. Back when that happened we bemoaned the data they’d be taking from us. Now, we’ve more or less forgotten.
Using LinkedIn To Your Advantage
Fishing For Jobs
By frequently updating your profile, you show up in more search results. This will boost you in “recently updated” results. The other way you show up in search results is keywords in your descriptions. Make sure to put a buzzword filled description for your work histories.
A “Living” Resume
Several companies often take a snapshot of your LinkedIn profile instead of a resume. This means you don’t need to spend time fiddling with font size and margins to fit that extra internship on one page. This is another reason to make your profile detailed. Since there aren’t any length restrictions on your LinkedIn profile, it’s a good opportunity to add more information about your past work.
When a prospective recruiter, manager, or client meets with you, get their LinkedIn details. This is a great way to follow up because you can stalk them to get a better picture of the company they work for and their work history. Just a reminder: following up is a great way to improve your chances of landing a a client or job.
Other Uses Of LinkedIn
You can use LinkedIn to recruit old coworkers or find people to be your referral bonuses but I don’t. Occasionally if I know a position will help someone, sure, I’ll shoot them a message. I don’t want to turn into a part-time recruiter.
For a site that’s strongly advertised as a job hunting tool, it’s not the most diverse. You can only search for on-site, full-time positions. You can search for jobs in Remote, Oregon but not remote working positions. Sites like Remotive and We Work Remotely are better for jobs you can do anywhere. Even Remote, Oregon.
Watching Companies Or People
Watching people or companies is useful if you track company performance for investments. You may also be looking for information on lay-offs or massive hiring initiatives. You could also follow business leaders that inspire you for opportunities to hear them speak or read books they’ve published. This is a way to understand trends in your industry and adapt to them… only if they’re a large enough company to spend money on social media specialists.
Getting Industry News
Like watching companies or people, you can get news digests for your industry. Sometimes I’ll take a look and get a simple digest of information. It’s a mix of study results, platitudes from leaders, and gossip. This is a good source of water cooler topics.
Half the time I forget this is a feature because of how hard it is to make use of it. There are alumni groups for schools and companies. The idea is to be able to refer jobs to group members and potentially mentor people. As with any internet social media groups, they vary widely. Group conversations are more fun on a casual forum like slack so I use that instead.
How LinkedIn Is Getting Me Closer To My Dream Job
LinkedIn can help get you a dream job. It’s not the best fit because I’m looking for remote, part-time, or freelance work. It can still be useful. Some of those irritating features helped connect me with work I wanted.
Following up is really important. I think this is the third time I’ve said this in this post but it’s worth reiterating. Your potential clients aren’t going to contact you if they’re busy (which they often are) or maybe they a client for a few months down the line instead of today. LinkedIn in as a great way to take a name and turn it into a picture of a person or company along with a way to contact them and see what they’re putting out there. It also allows you to see their connections and find more potential clients. Typically, people in similar business or career stages cluster. So, what if this person was a “miss”? You can also check out their company to see what things you should avoid.
Call My Bluff, I Dare You
Recruiters are like a fungus: they bloom, you wipe them out, they lie in wait, and return with equal or greater power later. At first, I ignored them or declined connections. After a while, I wondered what they would do if I asked for a part-time, remote contract. When I did, a lot of them backed off and didn’t come back. However, there were a few who started a discussion.
I think of these as the “good” recruiters. They didn’t give up when I gave them these difficult requirements, they started to ask why I needed them and what types of negotiation I’d be willing to do. I started building potential work schedules in my head: 20 hours per week onsite, 30 hours per week remote, or fully remote 3 month contract. Surprisingly, they went out and came back with jobs meeting these criteria. Not only that, they frequently followed up to tell me how the search was going and which companies were interested in my work proposal.
The takeaway: if you can come up with a job worth talking to a recruiter for, they might find it for you.
When we are navigating through life, we often hear about the importance of boundaries. Boundaries come in different forms: ownership, intimacy, and work/life balance. Here is one of several cases where my work/life boundaries were crossed in the course of my employment.
I was on a team as a sort of floating engineer working on some architectural designs rather than specific features or operations. My manager requested my help on an urgent project for 2 weeks and assured me it would bump me up the list for promotion, something I’d been working toward for the past 6 months. The catch was having to put aside some of the architecture work but I thought it would be a nice addition to my highlight reel.
In another part of my life, a close friend was going to be married 3 weeks from the day I was asked to help on this project. I had accepted the invitation and booked my flights several months prior as well as sending out the usual out of office calendar notices.
They didn’t warn me that I’d be working with someone who didn’t know the system. Instead of 2 weeks, it was 2 weeks of me working and 1 week of me undoing the mistakes of my coworker. As the deadline neared, I had increasingly detailed documentation of the remaining work and release plan so someone else could pick it up. I lived under the assumption that work would bend to my vacation plans, not the other way around. Until this conversation:
Project Manager: Hey, so is this going to be done by tomorrow?
Me: That’s not up to me. I have all the changes lined up and the validation scripts ready but I can’t make anything else go faster.
Project Manager: And you’re going on vacation?
Project Manager: Too bad we can’t cancel that, huh?
Me: No, my friend is getting married so it’s immovable.
Project Manager: Ah… well, let’s see what happens tomorrow.
My manager had been coaching me on not being so angry at work (gee, I wonder why that kept happening) and I knew if I indicated any emotional response to this, I’d be getting a stern talking to (this manager was a jerk). So, on the outside I just vaguely smiled and went back to work but on the inside I was calling this shithead all kinds of names and preparing to quit if they tried to make me stay.
I did go on my vacation and I did meet my deadline.
You might want to know what happened to the project, the promotion, and the project manager. Here’re the answers:
- The project manager was fired for incompetence.
- When I returned from vacation, the project was delayed and didn’t need me to work like crazy, under threat of losing vacation beforehand.
- 4 months later my manager informed me that my work to this project “didn’t count” towards my promotion. He remains a jerk to this day, or so I’ve heard.
- The walking incident of a coworker had been ejected from the team. It turns out he wasn’t only ignorant of the system but of how to do anything.
- The only part of the project that worked without completely destroying all other integration points was the piece I implemented. It’s not because I’m a superstar developer. It’s because the team was all new randomly hired people except for me and one other guy. They had no chance.
- My documentation was passed along and worshiped as the only documentation for the entire project that described how to validate anything.
What Did I Learn
- Shit rolls downhill: Despite my intense irritation with the project manager, I saw he was under a lot of strain to get this project done. He was being asked to make a lot of personal sacrifices to make this thing happen. So when he implied that I would need to make sacrifices too, I wasn’t surprised but I didn’t think he’d cross that line.
- Never trust your manager when his ass is on the line: Until the sudden foray into the project, I didn’t know anything about it. After getting back from vacation, I gained more context on what was happening. Apparently, there was this political battle between two directors and one of them was mine, trying to make a point about the effectiveness of his team. I got pulled in, not because it would benefit my career, but because it would benefit his.
- The real deadline is when everyone else is ready: I had accepted the deadline given to me because I didn’t know anything about the project when I was enlisted. What I found out later showed me there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that any other team was going to be ready by the deadline. The fact that my work made my team ready was just an excuse for the asshat director to throw shit on other teams. It didn’t matter that I did the work, did it well, and did it on time.
- A pattern emerges: Now that I had a history of Hail Mary passes, guess who came knocking at my non-existent, open-space door at the next crisis? That’s right, asshat director. So I started saying ‘no’. And then I changed teams. And then I quit the company. Sometimes my old coworkers tell me he says he’ll hire me back anytime. I hope he’s not holding his breath.
If you work for a company in the United States, you may have seen “EAP” as an offered benefit. This stands for “Employee Assistance Program“. Along with some wellness benefits, it often offers some coverage for counseling or therapy. At first glance, it looks like a good way for the company to support their employees. Certainly, funding gym memberships or paying for exercise equipment is great. What about those counseling sessions though?
How It Works
If your company provides this benefit you are eligible to receive 3 sessions fully covered regardless of your health plan with an in-network counselor or therapist. This can range from career counseling to treatment of mental illness. I think you may even be able to make a case for a personal trainer to fall under this umbrella.
Typically, EAP benefits are provided through a third-party company whose website you go to for providers. Often this website has a ton of other resources. I’ve seen company discounts and coupons along with tests to tell you whether you’re cheating on your spouse (no, it doesn’t make sense). Often the material seems like a random collection of generic advice and then that search engine for people in network.
How It Doesn’t Work
I see the EAP plan as someone offering me a towel when my house is flooding: it’s a nice gesture and might help me feel a little better but doesn’t solve my problem. The flood, in my case, would be a series of stress related mental health issues and the towel is those 3 counseling sessions. These are a few things I’ve learned that make this benefit useless:
- It takes 1 to 2 sessions to determine if you can work with a particular counselor. Sometimes it can take longer for the therapist to evaluate whether they can help you. There goes those 3 sessions and you got nothing for it.
- Your physician may have a “care team” with a counselor included. This is super useful when both of them can work together to give you the best combination of medication and behavioral treatment. Oh, but that counselor isn’t in the EAP network, even if they are in your health plan network. So much for saving some medical expenses.
- Finally, therapists hate dealing with insurance, much like everyone does. Unfortunately, the EAP is an additional round of paperwork for them. So, the counselors that are successful and well-liked by their clients don’t really need the additional traffic boost the EAP gives them. So guess who’s left in the EAP search engine?
What Needs To Change?
I don’t know. I only have my own case to look at and say “EAP doesn’t work or make sense for me” but who knows, maybe it isn’t just lip service and people have been helped by it. However, to make this something other than an irritating reminder of how poor our mental health support is, here are some things that I think would make it better:
- Remove the in-network limitation
- Cover 2 introductory sessions with any new therapist up to once every 3 months (supporting those searching for the right one)
- Allow an additional covered session for “qualifying life events” such as divorce, bereavement, or a new medical diagnosis
- Provide career and life advice to employees generated by the company’s HR department, not some generic employee support company that tells you how to shop for a tie
I hope you learned more about what EAPs are and I hope they are more useful to you than they’ve been for me.
Usefulness And Overview
Currently, the course topic is relevant. The paradigm of “containerization” or releasing your software as self-contained collections of related packages and dependencies called “containers” is catching on quickly across services in the industry. Even though this says it’s for Java developers, it’s not really Java specific. All the concepts and commands used are language independent to a certain extent. The part that the course missed out on was Kubernetes, a fast growing solution from Google related to container management.
Is this particular course a good use of your time to learn about Docker? Maybe. A lot of the content was easily found in documentation or by searching online. If you like information presented in sequence with context, yes, this is a good choice. Otherwise, it may be tedious or too shallow in topic coverage.
The course follows a mini-lecture with demo format. You can copy the course materials and follow along with the demo. The course starts off assuming you don’t have Docker set up. The content begins with installation and follows a simple web app through containerization, deployment, release and scaling. It further goes through monitoring options and maintenance commands.
- The instructor introduces Docker by showing you the download websites and how to install on various operating systems.
- He introduces the course material by showing how to use git to clone the course materials and use them.
- The first use of Docker is to create a container with the sample application and use the start and stop commands along with options. List running containers as well.
- Next, the website is deployed using the container and various health checks are shown. An important not here was how container health is different than application health.
- The lecture shows how to automate the use of containers in a build and release flow.
- Container sharing, tagging, and maintenance in a container store are shown along with best practices for tagging.
- Next was a more complex application with multiple services with a container that needed to be started up in a particular order (application and database).
- He went over the use of container contexts to allow running multiple instances of a container on the same host.
- This then moved into more advanced use of containers including swarm mode with rolling updates, certificate rotation, auto-scaling, and fail over.
- He went over container maintenance and use of the master node to manage other nodes in the cluster including the use of drain and pause commands.
- Another advanced topic covered was storage nodes and how to use container independent storage or distributed storage solutions with containers.
- As the last topic, he went over tools and other plugins for monitoring including the stats CLI tool, Prometheus and C Advisor.
- He did not go over Kubernetes but recommended it as a future topic.
Often you will hear people say that someone is “burnt out” or “I was really burnt out on [project/team/company].” Casually, this means you are exhausted or temporarily stressed on a team. This often is thought of as a passing condition. Unfortunately, there is a more formal type of burnout called “psychological burnout” or “occupational burnout.” Here I’ll talk about what this is, how it can ruin your life, and how to fix it.
What Is It?
Burnout is a pathologic syndrome in which prolonged occupational stress leads to emotional and physical depletion and ultimately to the development of maladaptive behaviors (e.g., cynicism, depersonalization, hostility, detachment).
This is a fairly formal definition and doesn’t include a few key points:
- This type of burnout can last years
- You may develop long lasting mental health problems such as depression, alcoholism, and eating disorders
- It can take months or years to recover
- By the time you notice your “maladaptive behaviors”, it’s already happened to you
You May Have Psychological Burnout If…
We are all different and the signs of this type of condition are different per person too. On top of that, we have such poor mental health support (in North America) that we don’t recognize these problems as repeated exposure to stressful situations. Remember, these “symptoms” are a stress reaction, not a personality trait.
What To Look For:
- No matter how hard you try to stay optimistic, you can’t see anything going well and you constantly fall into cynicism and criticism at work or elsewhere.
- You take a lot of breaks at work to get away from work with activities like eating, drinking, or over-exercising.
- Your week follows a pattern like this: work Monday to Friday, sleep Saturday to Sunday.
- You become more resentful of people asking you do to things even if they are simple.
- You start blaming yourself for not working hard enough, not being tough enough, or not being smart enough to overcome the challenges you have at work.
- You enter a protective combat mode: you are argumentative and defensive about any changes or comments related to your work. When you look back on what caused it, these are usually no attacks on you but you can’t stop yourself from reacting that way.
- You feel isolated. This can be emotional isolation: no one is there to help you, you need to fix this all on your own, your coworkers or boss don’t have your back. Or physical isolation: you start working from home more, you don’t want to participate in any team activities, you stop responding to emails or chats messages.
- And much, much more…
The worst part is the slow creep: you won’t notice a big, sudden change. Instead, you’ll find yourself here without knowing how and you’re not sure how to get out.
When we talk about burn out in the casual sense, it’s usually caused by a tight deadline, late nights, or the frenzied kind of work we associate with “crunch time”. Interestingly, this isn’t the same as what causes psychological burnout.
This is how I sum up the cause of psychological burnout:
You put effort into something and you got no result (or not the one you expected).
Here are some examples of how that shows up:
- You are asked to write a design or build a feature and just as you are halfway through, it’s cancelled
- You put up a code review and no one reviews it for days or weeks
- You prepare a proposal for a new feature, project, initiative, anything and it’s brushed aside by your manager or team
- You write a masterpiece of an email reporting some fabulous result or finding and no one responds
- You ask questions or make comments in team meetings and they are ignored
Some other causes you’ll see listed on medical websites call out other things like dysfunctional teams, lack of control, or boredom. To me, these fall into work that’s not getting the result you expect. If you are trying to talk to your team and they don’t respond, that’s effort wasted. If you find out your project was cut because you have no say in your team road map, more effort wasted. I find that any action by the team or company that sends the message of “you did all this work and we don’t care” is hugely damaging. It makes sense that people withdraw, start thinking nothing they do matters, and, of course, “develop maladaptive coping behaviors.”
When It’s Too Late
Too late to me means you’ve gone so far into your emotional hell that you start to see your relationships, productivity, and physical health suffer. “Too late” doesn’t mean you can’t get better, it just means that you will need to make a significant change in your lifestyle to recover from your new and horrible condition. Here are a few examples of what too late looks like:
- You a few beers after work to get rid of the unhappiness built up during the day
- You can’t remember the last time you slept well and find yourself self medicating with pot, alcohol, sleep medication or other substances to get to sleep at night
- You’re are late to work because you can’t get yourself out of bed anymore
- Your coworkers and managers tell you you’re angry and critical
- Your friends are telling you to quit or they’re not talking with you as much because they’re tired of your work rants
- You’ve been to visit your doctor to either get anti-depressants or increase doses
- You have other minor physical problems building up: regular indigestion, random aches and pains, sprains, headaches, frequent colds or flues
These signs differ for each person. Some choose to drink while others over-exercise. Some will get angry and others consider self-harm. Either way, substance abuse, uncontrolled emotion, mood altering prescriptions, and a decline in personal relationships mean this is now taking over your life and something needs to change.
How To Recover
How did this happen? It’s complicated. A lot of different pieces came together at the same time to create this situation. To solve it, it’s also going to take a lot of different pieces coming together to work to get you better. Here are a few of the bigger things you can do to find your path to recovery:
- Go to therapist or counselor: this person will help you identify the situations leading to burnout and track your improvement or lack thereof over time
- See a doctor for mental health evaluation: you may have stress induced depression, anxiety, ulcers, or insomnia that needs medications and management with a physician
- Take a break: take time off for as long as you can. By taking time off, you will see how unhealthy your life has become and seek better opportunities.
- Change jobs: consider changing teams, managers, or companies depending on what you learn from introspection and counseling
- Change careers: many people choose to change careers to escape the damage of burnout. Going back to school, choosing to invest in family, or becoming a travel blogger are common escape routes.
Make sure you do something. If you choose inaction, you’re damaging yourself physically, mentally, and potentially financially (medical bills, being fired).
Finally, find things that counteract the cause of burnout:
Do things that turn your efforts into rewards.
It’s Not That Bad Yet
If you’re reading through these signs and think “I’m putting effort and not seeing results but I’m just frustrated, not a depressed alcoholic” then you’re in luck! You can avoid the worst by getting away from your situation early. When you start to see people ignoring, cancelling, brushing off, or otherwise not returning anything on your effort, evaluate whether or not it’s worth staying where you are. It’s not just about wasting your time, it’s about damaging your motivation and joy in working. You can use mindfulness to identify what is going well and what isn’t to get yourself moving in a better direction.