An independent professional in my network recommended I watch a talk by Mike Monteiro called “F*ck You, Pay Me” when I asked for advice on contracts and client relations. Whether you’re freelancing, consulting, part-time, or full-time, the advice given applies to any contract you sign related to your professional skills. Below is a summary of the video and I’ll also cover how this can apply to a full-time position.
I interviewed for a job and got an offer. I only learned the terms of the offer a week into the job. Maybe “job” is a strong word since I also wasn’t getting paid.
A recruiter and I start talking and decide I’ll interview for a position. The phone screen goes well. The in person interview goes well. The recruiter tells me they are putting together an offer and I dedicate the rest of my mental energy trying to decide whether I want the job or not.
The recruiter is part of one of those third party recruiting companies. Normally this would be a “bad recruiter” but this time we became sort of friends. The fact that neither of us worked for the company trying to hire me was actually a bond rather than a divide after this mess.
The day I interviewed was the 26th of a random month in the year, say December. On the 3rd of the following month, January, I was leaving the country for a 2 week long trip.
Make Me An Offer
On the 28th, two days after my interview, I was called up by the third-party recruiter to tell me they loved me and wanted to extend an offer (her words, not mine). They appeared willing to meet all of my unorthodox demands, like part time hours and flexible vacation. All I needed was the HR department to extend the official offer.
Both parties were aware of my upcoming vacation and assured me the offer would come in on the 1st of January, 3 days before my departure. Just one thing: I needed to apply to the position officially through their Workday site. Workday, like every other HR related software solution, is no fun to use. Whatever, I can jump through hoops, I thought. Even hoops where I’m given a random string of numbers as my user name. Thanks Workday.
According to the company HR contact, my application via Workday would cause a cascade of recruitment dominoes, triggering NDAs, pay set up, offer details, and various other employment necessities. With my application done, I narrowed down my list of things to negotiate depending on the offer details and waited.
Your Offer Got Lost In The Intranet
As the days passed and my suitcase was getting packed for my trip, I suspected I should have my offer but didn’t. I emailed the third-party recruiter for an update. You might wonder why I was still talking to the recruiter. Why wasn’t I talking directly to the HR contact? The answer is simple: I was never put in touch with the HR department. My only conduit to the Borg was via this recruiter. Luckily, we enjoyed working together and continued to bond over how dysfunctional the company was.
Back on track: the recruiter responded in less than 5 min with minimal punctuation that this was not okay and I should have had my offer days ago. At least I knew they didn’t secretly change their mind and ghost me. This triggered an investigation on the HR side to figure out where my offer was and why I didn’t have it.
A Canary Can’t Fail If There Are No Canaries
Background: a “canary” is a software term to describe a simple test or check to show something is working, at least basically. It comes from the phrase “canary in a coal mine.”
As I was on my cross-continental flights to a tropical paradise, the recruiting and offer debacle was beginning to unravel. The first hitch: most of the HR department was out of the office on a retreat or conference out of town so they weren’t as available to respond to candidates requesting their offers or third party recruiters trying to figure out where the offers were. The second hitch: the IT department decided the best time to migrate to a brand new HR system (i.e. Workday) is the week that the HR department is out of the office and not around to detect errors.
The message routed to me via the recruiter: “We just migrated to Workday and something went wrong so we aren’t sure where your offer is.” I requested they send a PDF version so I could at least review legal terminology, employment restrictions, and negotiate sooner rather than later. This seemed reasonable to me and my recruiter friend so we waited with the expectation that this offer would come along in an hour or two.
Do You Really Need An Offer?
By this point I’d already decided my trip was more important than the offer and proceeded enjoy the tropics. Every once in a while I’d ping the recruiter for an update on the offer that hadn’t come in and she’d say she didn’t know what the hold up was. This went on for a few days, bringing us to the 8th of January, a week after I was supposed to have my offer.
The HR contact, now in a long and confusing email thread with me and my recruiter, sent me my “offer”: a number describing my pay along with a annual bonus tier. I mean, I guess that’s a offer, in a sense. However, a job is more than pay. What about moonlighting policies? At will employment? Vacation? Health benefits? Anything? At this point I still had my wish list of negotiation points but nothing to negotiate against.
My recruiter and I chatted over a call when I had reliable Wi-Fi and agreed this wasn’t much of an offer in terms of details. There wasn’t even anything to sign, no legal agreement laid out. I discussed with her my negotiation criteria and she said she’d make it happen. She thanked me for my patience, responsiveness, and lack of complaint while the company was unresponsive, off track, and generally a mess.
I Could Be A Murderer
During the last days of my vacation, around the 18th of January, we agreed that I would start on the 30th of January. This seemed fine. I spent some time in limbo until the 25th when I realized I hadn’t been asked to do a background check. Who in the world is going to ask for a background check? People who are paranoid and want to make sure they aren’t immediately ejected from a new job because of an HR mix up.
I gently reminded HR that my start date was less than a week away and was there a criminal background check I needed to fill out? Response: Well, shit, you mean you didn’t get it already? I guess we have to manually trigger that Workday workflow and since none of us know how Workday works, it will take a few days.
Background checks can take up to two weeks and this was 5 days before my start date. I mean, I don’t mind if you don’t do a background check. I also don’t mind if you push my start date back. Could you just get your shit together?
Am I In The Right Place?
After the vacation ended, a sort of verbal agreement fell into place about my offer. I had given my start date and it seemed to be on track. Except for one thing: why hadn’t I signed an employment agreement? I’m not saying I like signing things but every other employer had one that outlined all the ways I could be fired immediately. Or sued. Or burned at the stake. It seemed important.
Right up until the day before I started, we still hadn’t figure out whether I needed to sign something or not. The HR department claimed I had accepted my offer in “the system” and I maintained that I had never signed a thing, though I’d be happy to do so once something came my way. As it turns out, the system had a few more problems.
When I started, they expected me the week after. That just meant that I had to fill out real paperwork for proof of eligibility of employment instead of the digital versions I was supposed to have gotten a week before I started. No big deal.
Oh, and you won’t be able to access any of your benefits. Hold on: I haven’t signed an offer, I’m not technically active in your system, and I have no benefits. Is this volunteer work or employment?
It’s just the new system, don’t worry about it.
My second day of work, the HR department set up a meeting with me and my manager to discuss my strange obsession with the lack of employment agreement. I told them I develop software outside of work and wanted a guarantee that there would be no legal intellectual property infringement or that my software wouldn’t default to their ownership. The answer: “We have no such restrictions here and never have. Even if we did have them, we wouldn’t pursue them.”
Uh-huh. I didn’t believe it but couldn’t do anything about it. Well, on the plus side, I still hadn’t technically signed anything so I’m fine. Right?
Welcome to Company X
I’d decided to let go of this “signing a contract” business and move on. Until my second week. Workday blasted me with an email storm about all this legal bullshit I needed to sign. You are restricted in the software you develop outside of work. You will be immediately terminated on violation of the following work policies. You must fill out proof of employment. You can’t drink at work. All those signature requests finally came in, a week after I started.
I was pissed off. What kind of HR department doesn’t know the legal bindings of an employment at their company? And directly contradicts them? All I could do was send a passive aggressive email to HR and my manager explaining to them how there were legal documents I needed to sign and I likely didn’t see them because of the incompetence of HR and the poorly timed migration to Workday. Boo.
Finally, all this offer, recruitment, and legal agreement stuff is put aside and I got down to work. One, then two, then three weeks went by and I was getting the hang of things. Everything seemed fine. Until I got a few credit card bills and went to check my bank account where I had set up direct deposit pay. No money. Okay, maybe I hadn’t been here for a full pay period yet.
I checked the pay schedule on the HR site, which was a rabbit hole adventure through SharePoint, Workday, ServiceNow, and custom internal sites. It looked like I was due pay for 2 pay periods, almost 3. Huh. Well, it looks like I’m not getting paid.
I sent a message to the HR department through their online ticketing system and got this response back: “Your paycheck will be in the store.”
Background: This job was in the technology department of a retail company with several physical stores. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I don’t work in a store. Either way, this begged the question: if I don’t work in a store, where is my paycheck?
What about the mail room? Surely, if they said “store” maybe it just meant “employee location”. I went up and down the building floors in search of something that looked like a mail room. I found something like it near the IT department but I don’t think they even knew of me in the system. At this point, that’s not surprising.
Finally, with a week gone by of me searching for my paychecks, I went to my manager.
Manager: Are you okay if we cancel today’s 1:1?
Me: Sure, there was just one thing I wanted to ask you about though.
Me: I’m not getting paid…
Manager: What!? We are getting to the bottom of this right now!
*Walk to the team Admin*
Manager: Hi Admin, we have a bit of a problem *looks at me*
Me: I’m not getting paid.
Admin: Oh my God! That’s awful!
Manager: Do you know anything about that?
Admin: I don’t really handle pay or anything. You’d have to talk to HR *turns to neighbor* Have you heard anything like this?
Neighbor: What is the problem?
Me: I’m not getting paid… I mean, I set up direct deposit over a month ago and I haven’t received anything.
Neighbor: Oh… you know, when I joined a year ago they sent my first few checks to the reception desk. Nobody told me about it and it took a while to find where they went. It might be worth checking there.
Manager and Admin: What? Why would they do that and not tell anyone?
Me: Well, I’ll go check and if not, we can escalate to HR.
In retrospect, this whole interaction was a little funny. How many times had I said “I’m not getting paid?” and it seemed like my coworkers were genuinely concerned about this problem. I went to the reception desk on another nondescript floor of my office building and asked if they had any mail for me. Voilà: there were all my employment checks, ready to be dropped into my bank account and swiftly redirected to pay my credit card bills.
By the end of all this, I was finally getting paid, I knew the legal parameters to my employment, and I had a firm distrust of HR and related software systems.
What I Learned?
- There is always a legal contract to sign that should be presented before employment no matter what HR and related systems tells you
- Always check your first pay period and verify you get your pay instead of waiting and draining your savings to cover bills your pay should have been covering
- Dealing with incompetence creates a bond through struggle, even with a recruiter
This post will be about how I’ve used LinkedIn in my career and how recruiters on LinkedIn or otherwise can be used as a tool as well.
What Is LinkedIn?
If you are a working professional, you’ve probably heard of LinkedIn. At least for the English speaking, North American job markets. Like other professional job searching sites like Glassdoor, Hired, and Indeed, LinkedIn allows you to upload a resume and makes it searchable by companies and recruiters. Similarly, you can search and apply for jobs. It’s different for its social networking. I think of it as “Facebook for work “. It’s a lot less awkward to share your LinkedIn details than your Facebook profile. LinkedIn is a Microsoft acquisition. Back when that happened we bemoaned the data they’d be taking from us. Now, we’ve more or less forgotten.
Using LinkedIn To Your Advantage
Fishing For Jobs
By frequently updating your profile, you show up in more search results. This will boost you in “recently updated” results. The other way you show up in search results is keywords in your descriptions. Make sure to put a buzzword filled description for your work histories.
A “Living” Resume
Several companies often take a snapshot of your LinkedIn profile instead of a resume. This means you don’t need to spend time fiddling with font size and margins to fit that extra internship on one page. This is another reason to make your profile detailed. Since there aren’t any length restrictions on your LinkedIn profile, it’s a good opportunity to add more information about your past work.
When a prospective recruiter, manager, or client meets with you, get their LinkedIn details. This is a great way to follow up because you can stalk them to get a better picture of the company they work for and their work history. Just a reminder: following up is a great way to improve your chances of landing a a client or job.
Other Uses Of LinkedIn
You can use LinkedIn to recruit old coworkers or find people to be your referral bonuses but I don’t. Occasionally if I know a position will help someone, sure, I’ll shoot them a message. I don’t want to turn into a part-time recruiter.
For a site that’s strongly advertised as a job hunting tool, it’s not the most diverse. You can only search for on-site, full-time positions. You can search for jobs in Remote, Oregon but not remote working positions. Sites like Remotive and We Work Remotely are better for jobs you can do anywhere. Even Remote, Oregon.
Watching Companies Or People
Watching people or companies is useful if you track company performance for investments. You may also be looking for information on lay-offs or massive hiring initiatives. You could also follow business leaders that inspire you for opportunities to hear them speak or read books they’ve published. This is a way to understand trends in your industry and adapt to them… only if they’re a large enough company to spend money on social media specialists.
Getting Industry News
Like watching companies or people, you can get news digests for your industry. Sometimes I’ll take a look and get a simple digest of information. It’s a mix of study results, platitudes from leaders, and gossip. This is a good source of water cooler topics.
Half the time I forget this is a feature because of how hard it is to make use of it. There are alumni groups for schools and companies. The idea is to be able to refer jobs to group members and potentially mentor people. As with any internet social media groups, they vary widely. Group conversations are more fun on a casual forum like slack so I use that instead.
How LinkedIn Is Getting Me Closer To My Dream Job
LinkedIn can help get you a dream job. It’s not the best fit because I’m looking for remote, part-time, or freelance work. It can still be useful. Some of those irritating features helped connect me with work I wanted.
Following up is really important. I think this is the third time I’ve said this in this post but it’s worth reiterating. Your potential clients aren’t going to contact you if they’re busy (which they often are) or maybe they a client for a few months down the line instead of today. LinkedIn in as a great way to take a name and turn it into a picture of a person or company along with a way to contact them and see what they’re putting out there. It also allows you to see their connections and find more potential clients. Typically, people in similar business or career stages cluster. So, what if this person was a “miss”? You can also check out their company to see what things you should avoid.
Call My Bluff, I Dare You
Recruiters are like a fungus: they bloom, you wipe them out, they lie in wait, and return with equal or greater power later. At first, I ignored them or declined connections. After a while, I wondered what they would do if I asked for a part-time, remote contract. When I did, a lot of them backed off and didn’t come back. However, there were a few who started a discussion.
I think of these as the “good” recruiters. They didn’t give up when I gave them these difficult requirements, they started to ask why I needed them and what types of negotiation I’d be willing to do. I started building potential work schedules in my head: 20 hours per week onsite, 30 hours per week remote, or fully remote 3 month contract. Surprisingly, they went out and came back with jobs meeting these criteria. Not only that, they frequently followed up to tell me how the search was going and which companies were interested in my work proposal.
The takeaway: if you can come up with a job worth talking to a recruiter for, they might find it for you.
Often you will hear people say that someone is “burnt out” or “I was really burnt out on [project/team/company].” Casually, this means you are exhausted or temporarily stressed on a team. This often is thought of as a passing condition. Unfortunately, there is a more formal type of burnout called “psychological burnout” or “occupational burnout.” Here I’ll talk about what this is, how it can ruin your life, and how to fix it.
What Is It?
Burnout is a pathologic syndrome in which prolonged occupational stress leads to emotional and physical depletion and ultimately to the development of maladaptive behaviors (e.g., cynicism, depersonalization, hostility, detachment).
This is a fairly formal definition and doesn’t include a few key points:
- This type of burnout can last years
- You may develop long lasting mental health problems such as depression, alcoholism, and eating disorders
- It can take months or years to recover
- By the time you notice your “maladaptive behaviors”, it’s already happened to you
You May Have Psychological Burnout If…
We are all different and the signs of this type of condition are different per person too. On top of that, we have such poor mental health support (in North America) that we don’t recognize these problems as repeated exposure to stressful situations. Remember, these “symptoms” are a stress reaction, not a personality trait.
What To Look For:
- No matter how hard you try to stay optimistic, you can’t see anything going well and you constantly fall into cynicism and criticism at work or elsewhere.
- You take a lot of breaks at work to get away from work with activities like eating, drinking, or over-exercising.
- Your week follows a pattern like this: work Monday to Friday, sleep Saturday to Sunday.
- You become more resentful of people asking you do to things even if they are simple.
- You start blaming yourself for not working hard enough, not being tough enough, or not being smart enough to overcome the challenges you have at work.
- You enter a protective combat mode: you are argumentative and defensive about any changes or comments related to your work. When you look back on what caused it, these are usually no attacks on you but you can’t stop yourself from reacting that way.
- You feel isolated. This can be emotional isolation: no one is there to help you, you need to fix this all on your own, your coworkers or boss don’t have your back. Or physical isolation: you start working from home more, you don’t want to participate in any team activities, you stop responding to emails or chats messages.
- And much, much more…
The worst part is the slow creep: you won’t notice a big, sudden change. Instead, you’ll find yourself here without knowing how and you’re not sure how to get out.
When we talk about burn out in the casual sense, it’s usually caused by a tight deadline, late nights, or the frenzied kind of work we associate with “crunch time”. Interestingly, this isn’t the same as what causes psychological burnout.
This is how I sum up the cause of psychological burnout:
You put effort into something and you got no result (or not the one you expected).
Here are some examples of how that shows up:
- You are asked to write a design or build a feature and just as you are halfway through, it’s cancelled
- You put up a code review and no one reviews it for days or weeks
- You prepare a proposal for a new feature, project, initiative, anything and it’s brushed aside by your manager or team
- You write a masterpiece of an email reporting some fabulous result or finding and no one responds
- You ask questions or make comments in team meetings and they are ignored
Some other causes you’ll see listed on medical websites call out other things like dysfunctional teams, lack of control, or boredom. To me, these fall into work that’s not getting the result you expect. If you are trying to talk to your team and they don’t respond, that’s effort wasted. If you find out your project was cut because you have no say in your team road map, more effort wasted. I find that any action by the team or company that sends the message of “you did all this work and we don’t care” is hugely damaging. It makes sense that people withdraw, start thinking nothing they do matters, and, of course, “develop maladaptive coping behaviors.”
When It’s Too Late
Too late to me means you’ve gone so far into your emotional hell that you start to see your relationships, productivity, and physical health suffer. “Too late” doesn’t mean you can’t get better, it just means that you will need to make a significant change in your lifestyle to recover from your new and horrible condition. Here are a few examples of what too late looks like:
- You a few beers after work to get rid of the unhappiness built up during the day
- You can’t remember the last time you slept well and find yourself self medicating with pot, alcohol, sleep medication or other substances to get to sleep at night
- You’re are late to work because you can’t get yourself out of bed anymore
- Your coworkers and managers tell you you’re angry and critical
- Your friends are telling you to quit or they’re not talking with you as much because they’re tired of your work rants
- You’ve been to visit your doctor to either get anti-depressants or increase doses
- You have other minor physical problems building up: regular indigestion, random aches and pains, sprains, headaches, frequent colds or flues
These signs differ for each person. Some choose to drink while others over-exercise. Some will get angry and others consider self-harm. Either way, substance abuse, uncontrolled emotion, mood altering prescriptions, and a decline in personal relationships mean this is now taking over your life and something needs to change.
How To Recover
How did this happen? It’s complicated. A lot of different pieces came together at the same time to create this situation. To solve it, it’s also going to take a lot of different pieces coming together to work to get you better. Here are a few of the bigger things you can do to find your path to recovery:
- Go to therapist or counselor: this person will help you identify the situations leading to burnout and track your improvement or lack thereof over time
- See a doctor for mental health evaluation: you may have stress induced depression, anxiety, ulcers, or insomnia that needs medications and management with a physician
- Take a break: take time off for as long as you can. By taking time off, you will see how unhealthy your life has become and seek better opportunities.
- Change jobs: consider changing teams, managers, or companies depending on what you learn from introspection and counseling
- Change careers: many people choose to change careers to escape the damage of burnout. Going back to school, choosing to invest in family, or becoming a travel blogger are common escape routes.
Make sure you do something. If you choose inaction, you’re damaging yourself physically, mentally, and potentially financially (medical bills, being fired).
Finally, find things that counteract the cause of burnout:
Do things that turn your efforts into rewards.
It’s Not That Bad Yet
If you’re reading through these signs and think “I’m putting effort and not seeing results but I’m just frustrated, not a depressed alcoholic” then you’re in luck! You can avoid the worst by getting away from your situation early. When you start to see people ignoring, cancelling, brushing off, or otherwise not returning anything on your effort, evaluate whether or not it’s worth staying where you are. It’s not just about wasting your time, it’s about damaging your motivation and joy in working. You can use mindfulness to identify what is going well and what isn’t to get yourself moving in a better direction.
Finding customers as a freelancer or contractor starting out is hard. These are some failed attempts at getting customers and what I learned.
Prospect 1: Work For Free
The first prospective client I spoke with was through a Slack networking channel. He saw when I posted I was looking for freelance work and asked me to join his other Slack channel that pooled freelancers. He said his team posted for freelance work needed on projects and those in the channel could claim the work.
This sounded fine. Until he described the work he needed me to do. For free. He mentioned that since I wasn’t an expert, he didn’t want to pay me. We spent some time negotiating a lower fee with specific deadlines and expectations. It didn’t pan out and I got the impression he just didn’t want to pay for the work.
Prospect 2: Online Course Instructor
The second prospective client was found through Upwork. This position was for teaching a few lectures on common topics like Git, Test Driven Development, and DevOps. This sounded like a piece of cake. When I contacted the hiring department, we agreed upon expectations as well as pay. They asked me to do a sample lecture on a topic of my choice as an interview for the position. I did well on the interview. They sent me a contract to sign. And I never heard from them again. Sadly, I never got the contact info of the department that had reviewed and approved my interview, otherwise this might have turned into actual work.
Prospect 3: StartUp Chats
On several different occasions, I’ve met with CTOs, CEOs, or COOs of various startups to discuss potential freelance work. All of the startups are in the same position: they have a good base of engineers, they can’t afford to hire more, and they need a few more people temporarily to get their project to the next milestone. For each of them I described what specific work I could do on their project, for how long, and for what rate. Every single one of them said “I can definitely find a way to have us work together.” No, I didn’t really believe them but at some point one of them might be telling the truth. One of them was a friend of mine and he kept me updated on the contract progress. He was slowly suffocating under a mountain of work to the point where he didn’t even had time to list enough of it to create a freelancing contract. I’ve chosen to assume that all of the startups have similar challenges and won’t sweat the loss. On the other hand, I also gave them my contact information rather than getting theirs. This meant I couldn’t follow up with them. Now I know I always need to get a business card.
How did I meet these people?
Learning From Failure
I don’t see these failed attempts at landing clients failures since each time I learn something new. With the first client I learned that people will ask me to work for free and I need to be firm on saying no. With the second client, I learned that talking to hiring departments is a waste of time if my contract will be with a different department. With all the startups, I learned the importance of following up. A little nudge is enough to get you a lot of work.
I did a 5 minute lightning talk at a women in tech conference. Here’s the blog version.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
As Carl Jung points out, we can learn a lot about our likes and dislikes by paying attention to the things that irritate us. That is more or less how this works.
3 Simple Steps
Step 1: Collect
Before we can answer any questions about what we like or dislike at work, we need to collect data. According to The Paradox Of Choice, a book that explore our biases when remembering experiences and making choices, we judge whether we like an experience based on our feelings at the end. If you had a mostly bad day at work but the last hour or two were great, you might think you had a great day. For that reason, I recommend using mindfulness to collect data based on small tasks or events in your day rather than trying to decide whether you like your work at the end of the day, week, or month.
How does this work?
Building habits is hard. According to The Power of Habit, the best way to build a habit is to associate it with an existing trigger. For example, your trigger might be checking your phone or going to the bathroom. Every time you do this, take a second to use the mindfulness technique to record data about your feelings about your job.
If you’re not familiar with mindfulness, don’t worry: this is really tiny aspect used as a focus tool. First, you need to remove distractions. I use physical sensation to draw attention to right now. Hold fabric between your fingers and rub them together to really pay attention to the texture of the cloth. You can draw one finger along the inside of another finger to generate a sensation that grabs your attention. Bringing focus to a physical sensation is all you need to temporarily dislodge yourself from the barrage of thoughts about everything else but now.
Once you have your attention, do a “body scan”. This is reading your own body language. Are your shoulders tensed or relaxed? Are you breathing slowly and deeply or quickly and shallow? Are you fidgeting or balling your hands in fists? A lot of these little things are easily noticed if you take a second to pay attention and tell you how you’re feeling.
Each “record” should be a pair: what were you doing and how did you feel after. These can be as detailed or sparse as you want. As you repeat the exercise, you will be able to adjust according to what data is most useful to you.
- One on one with manager: happy, relaxed, confident
- Meeting with stakeholder: tense, crossed arms, needed to take a walk
- Publishing code review: godlike
- Release war room: why do I do this job?
Step 2: Categorize
Next we categorize the data. There can be 2 or more categories and they can be whatever you want. My favorite is “good vs. bad” but other useful ones are “stressful vs. calming”, “energizing vs. draining”, or “empowering vs. demotivating”. Depending on what you want to change or understand, you can adjust your categories. This technique can be used to sort your activities into groups like “helps promotion vs. busy work” or “builds skills vs. menial tasks”. These can be used to stay on track for career goals.
- Publishing code review
- Figuring out root cause of bug
- Successful release to production
- One on one with manager
- Team retrospective
- Meetings with stakeholders
- Writing integration test for legacy features
- Release war room
Step 3: Interpret
Finally, figuring out your dream. I can’t promise this will get you the best job in your next career change but if you do this regularly, it will make you more aware of what to change now and look for in the future. How does that work?
From the example above I can see a few trends:
- I tend not to like meetings
- I have a good relationship with my manager
- I enjoy releasing code and moving code along in the development process
- I enjoy solving problems
- I don’t like being in high stress situations like war rooms or situations that may be otherwise delicate like retrospectives
- I tend to prefer solo tasks
- It looks like I prefer smaller meeting sizes
- I might have a good relationship with my manager but not my team based on the retrospective being in the “bad” column
- I might not like partner teams if the war room and stakeholder meeting both fell under bad
- I probably like our development infrastructure since I liked publishing my code review and releasing my code
If you see the complex ones with “might” and “probably”, you might need better data around those events.
Now, I have this blurb to put on my LinkedIn profile:
I am looking for a position that values independent workers who work closely with their core teams. I enjoy working for managers who empower their engineers to stay focused on their project work. I prefer written communication to meetings and I’m strongly in favor of remote work. I am passionate about devops and development process excellence. I gain great satisfaction from a job were I can problem solve when digging into the root cause of issues.
It sounds like my likes and dislikes at work make me a perfect devops, quality, or infrastructure engineer on a remote team that values independent workers. When I first did this exercise and saw this data, I was on a team that prioritized frequent collaboration across multiple teams and mandated feature development over process or product improvement. This might explain why I wasn’t so happy there.
This also leads to key terms for a job search:
Independent, single manager or fewer managers, written communication, devops, operational excellence, remote, debugging, quality
Here’s an random job for a Remote Security Engineer at Elasticsearch. Let’s see how many of those traits I can find (I’ve bolded the relevant parts):
Engineering a distributed system that is easy to operate via elegantly designed APIs is a challenge. It requires software development skills and the ability to think like a user. We care deeply about giving you ownership of what you’re working on [Independence]. Our company believes we achieve greatness when they are set free and are surrounded and challenged by their peers. At Elastic, we effectively don’t have a hierarchy to speak of [Less multi-manager meetings]; we feel that you should be empowered to comment on anything, regardless of your role within the company.
What You Will Be Doing:
- Evolving the security features of Elasticsearch.
- Implement authentication, authorization, and other security protocols within Elasticsearch.
- Build the foundation of security for the Elastic Stack using knowledge of cryptographic primitives and security trade-offs.
- Prototype new ideas and experiment openly.
- Collaborating in the open with the Elasticsearch team, Elastic Stack users, and others supporting open source projects.
- Working with the community on bugs and performance issues and assisting out support engineers with tougher customer issues. [Debugging]
Tally this up: remote, independent, few multi-manager meetings, quality (comes with security), and debugging with customers. This basically meets everything but the devops requirement. Before I did this exercise, I wouldn’t have looked for or considered this job. It looks like a much better fit for my likes and dislikes than my job at the time was.
Finally, you don’t actually need to leave your current job to “find” your dream job. If you bring this data to your manager, you can have a conversation to improve your current day to day work.
- Hi Manager, I really enjoying improving and augmenting our development infrastructure. Is there any bandwidth for me to spend more time on tasks like this?
- Dear Manager, I find the stakeholder and war room meetings with Team X are very chaotic and distracting. Do you think you could help me push for a conference call so I don’t need to be in the room and be less distracted?
- To the Manager whom it may concern, I understand that you’ve been placing me in leadership positions for several new products. While I think this is a great compliment for the trust you have in me, I want to work with you to make time for doing what I love at this job: crushing bugs and solving problems.
- Meetings suck. Please make them stop.
How you phrase these has more to do with Crucial Conversations than anything else. At the very least, you communicate what you want more of or less of.
Brush Twice, Floss Once
How often should you do this? I recommend 5 to 10 consecutive business days with a handful of measurements per day to get a good sense of your average work day. Be careful of the time frame you choose. If another significant life event is going on or something else is changing, you may be measuring your reaction to that other thing instead of your reaction to your job.
Tools for setting triggers:
- Phone alarms
- Calendar reminders
- Apps like Dailio
Tools for measuring:
- Coloring or tagging your calendar meetings with categories describing your reactions to them
- Apps like Dailio
- Pen and Paper
Tools for interpreting:
- Pen and paper
- Apps, once again, like Dailio
Happy Self Quantifying.
Have you ever been alarmed at seeing your coworkers leaving your company in droves? Or hearing about it at other companies? Should you be quitting too? Here I’ll go over factors that impact whether to quit and how to determine if your fears of quitting are justified.
Read The Signs
If you’re not one of those people constantly on the look out for another step up, you probably don’t think of quitting your job regularly. Here are some signs that might tell you it’s time to consider it:
- You dread going to work or come home feeling really drained regularly.
- You don’t feel emotionally invested in your work.
- You haven’t changed positions or jobs for the past 5 years.
- When people ask you what you like about your job, one of the first or only things you say is:
- I really like the people.
- My manager never puts any pressure on me.
- I mean, the benefits are good.
- I can’t complain.
- You wish you could learn new skills on the job.
- You keep telling yourself you’ll get that promotion next year.
- You remember how your team was so much better before.
- People start telling you about other great positions (not recruiters or managers).
- You’re bored at work all the time.
Just because your favorite thing about your job is the benefits, people, or stability doesn’t mean your job is bad. It means there may be a lack of engagement. This leads to low skill growth and decreased desirability for future positions. If you are near retirement, this is okay. If you’re early or mid-career, this might mean you’re going to have a hard time finding another job. If you’re not engaged in your work, your work quality is probably not your best. This can lead to all kinds of bad feelings both from within, like guilt or despondency, and without, like people thinking you’re a lazy procrastinator.
But If I Quit…
There are so many reasons that come up when you think of quitting. It could be small, like not wanting to miss your favorite coffee shop, or big, like being worried about visa sponsorship. First, it’s okay to have these worries. Second, write them down and try to prioritize them in order of biggest worry. This is going to be a useful way to prioritize traits in your next job.
- Fear of being deported due to lack of visa support. This turns into: Confirm with recruiter and/or HR that visa support will be provided.
- Fear of getting a longer commute, meaning more stress, money, and time. This turns into: Ask about commuting support, work from home options, and potentially only look at companies within a certain distance of your home.
- Irritation at having to rollover your HSA. This turns into: Look up the HSA rollover policies and see if it’s worth rolling over your balance or just reinvesting within the same HSA.
Fears can be used to identify completely reasonable concerns with quitting. You can turn them into achievable requirements for your next position.
No You’re Biased
Let’s talk about cognitive biases. Here’s an example of an internal stream of thought along with some biases identified within it:
Okay, so this job isn’t going as well as you thought but you’ve already spent the time and effort to get it, why not give it a little more time? [Loss Aversion]. On top of that, you’ve contributed so much code, documentation, process, and team development effort here [IKEA effect]. Is it really that bad? It would be much nicer if things stayed the same, right? [Status Quo Bias]. After all, this is a great job because you chose to take it[Choice Supportive Bias]. In fact, you have this job and there are tons of people that would want it [Endowment effect]. Certainly, all your coworkers seem to like it here so you should too [Bandwagon effect]. They all understand that this company works a certain way and that’s how we stay successful [System Justification]. In the end, it’s going to be so hard to choose from all the available jobs that you might as well stick with this one [Default Effect].
First, what’s a cognitive bias? In short, it’s an irrational way of thinking that leads to decisions or actions not based in reality. Here’s another way to think of it: your brain is doing the best it can to ensure your success and sometimes that means making decisions based off of fear instead of reality. How do you combat this when this happens unconsciously?
In general, you can counter biases by broadening your view and working to look at things objectively (note: this isn’t easy). Let’s see some examples:
- Endowment effect and Choice Supportive Bias: You think your job is great because it’s your job. Counterpoint: First, any job could be your job, which means any job could be great. Second, your job isn’t unique. There are other jobs almost the same as your current one. So, is it so scary to leave your job for another that offers you the same status?
- Loss Aversion: Also known as the Sunk Cost Fallacy, you tell yourself you’ve already spent so much time and effort here that you don’t want to leave that all behind. Counterpoint: What about the time and effort you’ve spent on your career? You’re not leaving that behind. Or the time and effort you’ve spent building a network with your coworkers? That also stays. The effort put to your job isn’t lost, it’s just a piece of a larger whole that is your career.
- IKEA Effect: This sh*t is yours. You built it with your bare hands over multiple late nights and with extreme sleep deprivation. You can’t just leave it. Counterpoint: The thing is, you’re going to ideally retire at some point and there goes your work. Know that you can’t hold on to it forever. Secondly, think of all the work you’ve ever done in your entire life. Your work contributions are not limited to this specific job and those contributions don’t go away after you start working in another segment of the limitless pool of work that needs to be done in this world. No one can take your achievements or accomplishments from you even if you quit your job.
- Bandwagon Effect, System Justification, and Status Quo Bias: These ones are interesting because they are all related to the fear of being different, standing out, and going against the norm. This can cause fear of social rejection. Counterpoint: Broaden your view to include not just your coworkers and bosses, but all workers in your sector. Do they think your job is great? Take a look at Glassdoor. Is your managerial structure great or abusive? Is it really worth keeping the status quo when only some people think your job is the best and your managers are driving you into the ground?
- Default Effect: This one is also interesting because it could signal another problem. On one hand, you could be lazy. Or, you could be immobilized with stress when thinking of changing jobs. If you’re just lazy or thinking that it will be fine if you do nothing, you can try to broaden your view and collect data on your job vs. others to get a more objective perspective. However, if you are in a job you don’t like and can’t change because of anxiety, you might need to get help from someone who can coach you through the change.
In all these cases there are a few generic ways to gain objectivity:
- What would you say to a friend in your situation?
- What would you say to a stranger in your situation?
- Ask your friend to look at the data you’ve presented and see what they conclude (try not to lead them to a decision)
- Ask a stranger the same you asked your friend
- Whether good or bad, there are tons of posts on Yahoo!Answers and Reddit by people trying to figure out this very thing
Why ask strangers and friends? The difference can be useful because you might be able to see the biases in action with the differences. Additionally, friends know your strengths and weaknesses better than a stranger so they will respond in a way tailored to you. A stranger doesn’t know you and will give the most general answer.
Where do I find this stranger? You’ll unfortunately want to reach into your network and find an engineer you used to work with, an old boss, someone you met at a networking event, or even a career coach if you’d like a more formal evaluation.
The bottom line is that your brain is going to try to protect you when you are stressed. Sometimes the decisions made in a time of stress are not the best long term so work on collecting more information to support them.
Here are a few reasons why you should always be considering changing jobs.
- Does your current position build skills on the job that will make you more appealing to the market? If you’re using 20 year old technology or you haven’t learned anything new in the past few years, you might be hurting your career by staying.
- Do you have benefits supporting continuing education? Some companies pay for master’s degrees or additional certifications.
- Are you supported in trying new roles? Maybe you don’t want to be an engineer and instead want to try out project management. There are companies that support this transition and others don’t.
- Promotions. Every place has a different way of promoting. If the job you’re at doesn’t have a good promotion track, you can look for a place that does.
- Money! When you change jobs, there’s a new opportunity to negotiate a higher salary than you currently have. In the tech market, you can expect a 20% salary increase or more with each job change. That really stacks up after a few job switches.
- You can grow your experience and diversity of thought by being in a different work environment.
- Even if you’re not looking for a job for yourself, by finding out about potential new jobs you can be a great resources for friends and coworkers who do want to switch. When you do favors for others, they tend to return them. This could lead to an even better opportunity further down the line.
- Do you want to travel the world? Some companies offer relocation benefits for internal transfers to international offices. You could live in a different country every few years and round out back at home if you want.
Show Me Numbers
I’ve mentioned being objective and rational a lot. Numbers and hard data make it clearer whether you benefit from quitting. Here are some numerical data you can collect and compare.
- Money: what do you make now vs. what you could be making
- Happiness: This might take a little work. Count the number of days when you’re happy or not. You can also check out some mindfulness practices here. Think of what your ideal is and compare.
- Skills: List the skills you want to learn vs. the skills available to learn at your job.
- Location: Measure the commute times between your current workplace and what your ideal commute times would be. You can also measure parking costs or time on public transit.
- Family: Compare parental benefits if you’re planning to start a family.
- Benefits: Look at health benefits, 401k, stock awards, commute reimbursement, fitness benefits, or anything else you have or are missing.
- Networking: Consider the people you are working with. Do you want to have more or less experienced people? Do you want more diversity in your workplace?
- Future: Do you want to move to another country? Does your current position support that or have other options like remote that would let you travel?
Taking these pieces of data and putting them into “current position has” and “want but current position doesn’t have” will help show the gap between your current and ideal position. Prioritize them and determine what you would jump ship for.
This Is Fine
It is okay to like your job and want to stay. In fact, it’s great if you’ve found a job where you think you’d like to stay for a long time and feel has the right setup for long term career growth. That is an enviable position. Potentially even more enviable than someone who’s “conquered” the FANG interviews and probably has a stupidly high salary. Everyone chooses their own path and because you’re the only one who reaps the benefits, it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world is doing. Happy quitting (or staying and enjoying your current job).